


A Second Waltz

by Rose_Lattes



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Kinda, stream of thought
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:00:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23398120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_Lattes/pseuds/Rose_Lattes
Summary: Jester contemplates the meaning of home while dancing with Caleb.Ep. 97, but there is no political intrigue, and it's just a party in Nicodranas.Written for the Widojest Hiatus Prompt: Dance
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 7
Kudos: 63





	A Second Waltz

Nicodranas felt different, and Jester didn't know why.

"He's real Mama, he's still real," Jester had said. And he was real, just real in a very different way than she had expected. The Traveler had been her home away from home. His presence was always a gift. He served as a reminder of where she had come from and what she had been through, but now it all felt muddied and overshadowed by the fact that he _was_ real. He wasn't a god, not like she had trusted him to be, no. He was something else, and Jester had to be fine with it. The floorboards for her childhood gave out beneath her weight, and she had to be fine with the fall into adulthood. She had to.

The Lavish Chateau felt different. Around every corner, she saw a memory of her playing tricks and giggling with her cloaked friend. A friend, that's what he was now. Just a friend, maybe a friend she could ask things of, but in the end-- just a friend. 

Her own mother felt different. She had seemed energetic when they had talked, her attention bouncing off of Jester as if she were a reflective mirror. The Ruby had been in a rush, and there was no time to truly talk, but what was there to talk about anyhow? Jester couldn't tell her mother about the perils she faced or the world-ending scenarios they were attempting to stop. She couldn't look her beautiful mother in the face and tell her she was scared to die, not when Marion was so quick to startle. It was a big step for Jester to leave, to join the outside world, she would not run back to her mother's breast and whimper because of the danger in the air. She had to be stronger than that. 

Adulthood was strange, she mused that night, the party was large, a proper ball, but Jester couldn't shake the feeling of being a stranger in a familiar place. She desperately longed for a comfort only home could provide, but this was home, she thought. She should be at peace. Her mother was on stage, singing something beautiful and captivating, and Jester wished nothing more than to get lost in the song, but the notes didn't strike her heart as they used to. 

Enough was enough, Jester thought. She forced a grin to her lips and pep to her step and sauntered toward Caleb. She stuck her hand out before her. "Caleb, will you dance with me?" she asked, suddenly timid. She knew it was selfish to ask him to dance, and she didn't wish to bring him memories of Astrid, but she desperately needed something to distract herself from the hole in her chest. "I mean," she faltered as he had yet to answer, "if it's okay with you, I mean only if you want to."

He quickly grabbed her hand. "I'd love to," he said almost breathlessly as if she weren't meant to hear it.

A shiver raced up Jester's spine, and she pulled him to an empty space on the ballroom floor. Just as he had so many nights ago, Caleb took her hand in his and pressed his other hand to her back. Jester smiled as he meticulously took the first step. She followed his lead with ease, and while her mother's song was not quite fitting for a waltz, the movement didn't feel wrong in the slightest.

"She's beautiful tonight," Caleb said, and Jester looked up to find him watching the stage. 

Jester nodded. "She is." And she was. Marion was always so elegant, so easy to admire and adore. So easy to love.

The song slowed, and Caleb allowed Jester to break form. Their waltz melted into an easy sidestep, and Jester unabashedly closed the distance between her and Caleb. He rested his hands on her waist as she laced her fingers behind his neck. She pressed her cheek against his shoulder and rested her head against him. The heavy black wool tickled her skin. She had picked his outfit out first, as he had been the one to initially ask for her assistance. Caduceus and her had to wait at the tailor's as the seamstress added the embroidery. Jester ran her finger along the collar of the coat. She had picked black because it complemented his complexion without overshadowing his natural handsomeness. He didn't need big fancy accessories or elaborate designs, he just needed a piece of attire to polish him. Jester gently smiled.

"I like this," Caleb said, patting her lower back.

"The bodice?" she asked, not pulling away.

He hummed, and she could hear the noise through his chest. They rocked back and forth in a smooth movement. She never wanted to leave, Jester concluded. She never wanted to leave this moment, their dance, their embrace, _him_. 

He allowed her to care for him, and she knew how big that was for him. She could see the pain, and he allowed her entry and allowed her touch. He allowed her to love him, and she _wanted_ to love him. Nowadays, that felt like a feat in and of itself, wanting to love something. Love took energy, and she felt so tired, but with Caleb, it felt easy. 

Nicodranas felt different, and now Jester understood why. Home didn't feel like home anymore, but that was okay. Home didn't have to be a place, it could be a group of people or a person, and Caleb was her home, or at least part of it now. He was home with hands, and she was oh so grateful for his touch.


End file.
